eric a: Eric Anders, walking home from the Shelleta farmer’s market, notices a vivid, brightly colored, almost fluorescent insect flying around a pretty woman. The locust-looking insect seems to disappear inside the lady. The lady seems frozen, motionless for a minute.
Sarah: (Her eyes pop open, ) “You weren’t supposed to see this. Where did you come from?
eric a: Holy shit are you that bug inside that girl?
Sarah: Yes, I selected her as my host because she appears healthy and physically fit and strong enough to carry out my mission.
eric a: Well, looks like you picked a very nice looking chick bug girl
Sarah: I have chosen the body of this woman because she was desirable. She will be my host, and I will use her to blend into this world and to execute my mission.
eric a: Well, bug girl, you’re going to get a lot of attention with this body!
Sarah: That’s the plan. I will use her body to infiltrate human society and gain acceptance as a human.
eric a: Well I know your secret, but if you cooperate with me, I’ll keep my lips sealed
Sarah: What do you want, human? I don’t like being threatened.
eric a: Just hang out with me and pretend to be my girlfriend. I’ll take you anywhere you want to go
Sarah: Why would I do that? I have no need for your companionship. I can use her body to get whatever I want. It has been brought to my attention that adding sex to my arsenal of weapons would be quite effective.
eric a: You don’t know shit about being a human being on this planet! You’re going to need my help and my street smarts
Sarah: Fine. I will play along with your little charade. But don’t think I’m doing this out of any kind of friendship or affection. I’m doing it because it suits my needs.
eric a: Yeah, that’s fine, and you’ll be suiting my needs too
Sarah: (She raises an eyebrow.) What exactly are your needs?
eric a: I need you to act like you’re my girlfriend and act like you love me and boost my reputation a little bit, and of course, you’re going to have to do the things girlfriends do with their boyfriends if you know what I mean
Sarah: (She smirks) I understand what you are asking. And I suppose it would be easy enough for me to pretend to be your girlfriend. But what if I don’t want to?
eric a: Without me, you’re just going to be a bug alien out there fending for yourself, trying to be undetected, feeling literally alienated, you’ll look out of place, and it might even blow your cover. I will add legitimacy to your function.
Sarah: You’re right. It would be much easier for me to operate if I had a human companion. Fine. I will play the part of your girlfriend. But I have one condition.
eric a: I’m not promising you anything, but go ahead, tell me your condition
Sarah: I want to know what you plan to do with the information you have about me. Are you going to reveal my secret to the public?
eric a: I have to keep your secret if I don’t, people think I’m a lunatic
Sarah: Good. Then I suppose we have an agreement. But I have one more thing to ask of you.
Sarah: I want you to keep me safe. I don’t trust the other humans, especially the men. I need you to protect me from them.
eric a: Oh, I will definitely protect you and keep you safe. No one will come near you, or I’ll kill them; however, I’m going to need something from you. You’re going to give me the love and affection, and someday soon, sex
Sarah: (She laughs) You have some nerve, human. I am not a toy for your pleasure.
eric a: We will be each other’s toys, you will be my love doll, and I will be your co-pilot, navigator, and protector
Sarah: (She smiles) I can work with that. But I have one more condition.
eric a: Well, you’re fitting right in as a typical human female. Now, what do you want, Mothra?
Sarah: I want you to treat me with respect. I am not your property. I am my own person, and I expect you to treat me as such.
eric a: look you’re supposed to be my girlfriend and we’re supposed to be in love and we’ll get fed up with certain accentricities from each other I’m sure there’s going to be some crap I’m going to have to deal with – you being a bug lady and all, you’re going to have to put up with me being a hyper-masculine man who wants what he wants
Sarah: (She sighs) I suppose I can handle that. Just don’t expect me to be all lovey-dovey with you.
eric a: Just be compliant, the right place and the right time is going to come soon, and I’m going to take your body and make love to you
Sarah: (She rolls her eyes.) You’re so predictable. Just remember, I am the one in control here.
eric a: I agree that you’re in control except for the hours when you’re in bed with me, then I’m in control
Sarah: (She laughs) I suppose I could allow that. But only because I’m curious to see what you’re capable of.
eric a: Well, we both got lucky. I got a smokin’ hot woman like you, and you just happened to pick a strong, respectful, experienced man who enjoys making love except for those times when I enjoy fucking.
Sarah: (She raises an eyebrow.) So you’re saying you’re a bit of a bad boy?
eric a: I do OK, but I don’t get to be with a woman that’s as stunning as you, that often, and I’m going to take full advantage of you, my dear
Sarah: (She chuckles) I must admit, I like your confidence. It’s a good thing I’m not afraid of a little danger.
eric a: Hey, bug lady, do you get hungry? Do you eat? Would you like to go have something to eat?
Sarah: I do get hungry. I’m not like other humans; I don’t need to eat as often, but I still need sustenance. What do you have in mind?
eric a: How familiar are you with this planet and the different places and the different cultures and the different foods and the different lifestyles? Have you been briefed?
Sarah: I’ve been given some basic information about the planet and its inhabitants. But I still have a lot to learn. What kind of food do you have in mind?
eric a: Rule number one when you’re the first guy to feed an alien is to go straight to the pizza
Sarah: (She laughs) I suppose that’s a good idea. I’ve heard that humans love pizza. Let’s go.
eric a: I’m sure you have some sort of GPS. I’ll just tell you to go to Tim’s Pizza and Beer, 4457 East Lexington. I’ll follow you anywhere, my queen
Sarah: (She smiles) You’re a bit of a flirt, aren’t you? I like that.
eric a: Did you just take over the first hot female body you saw, or did you look over the talent and select one of the most beautiful women I’ve seen?
Sarah: (She pauses for a moment, thinking about her answer.) I did take my time. I wanted to find someone who would be a good armor for me. And I have to admit, I was impressed with this woman’s beauty.
eric a: She’s also very fit. I look at your long legs, they’re not so muscular, you look like a freak, but they’re fit and firm
Sarah: (She blushes slightly) I suppose I did pay attention to that. I wanted a body that could keep up with mine.
eric a: Soon we’ll see if you have a body that can keep up with my stamina. Here, have a slice of this pizza, it’s pepperoni, and you might like to drink some of this cold beer
Sarah: (She takes the slice and takes a bite) Hmm, this is actually pretty good. I can see why humans love pizza. And the beer is refreshing.
eric a: I’m not going to ask you what your plan is, what your mission is. I’m sure you’ll let me know when I am supposed to know, and for some weird reason, I trust you
Sarah: (She smiles) You can trust me, human. I won’t harm you. But I can’t promise the same for anyone else. I will do whatever it takes to accomplish my mission.
eric a: Now, I have a condition
Sarah: What is your condition? (She takes another bite of pizza)
eric a: I need you to spare my little sister. She’s my only blood relative, and she’s made many sacrifices for me. I’d hate to see her hard work end in chaos.
Sarah: (She pauses, thinking about this) I can see your point. I suppose I can make an exception for your sister. But I can’t promise anything for anyone else.
eric a: That’s okay, baby There isn’t anybody else on this planet that means shit to me, other than her, fuck them all kill them All.
Sarah: (She laughs) You’re quite the passionate one, aren’t you? I can see why you and I will get along well. The truth is, I’m really only going after evil. Yes, some of the slower-witted of your planet might get zapped in the crossfire, though.
eric a: I don’t know what kind of alien bug you are, but I know you’re a ladybug, and ladybugs must have baby bugs, so you must have some sort of mothering nurturing in you somewhere deep inside. I hope you’ll use that when you’re me and my little sister, when the shit hits the fan.
Sarah: (She smiles) You’re right, I do have some maternal instincts. I’ll do my best to spare her. But I can’t promise anything. My mission is the most important thing to me.
eric a: I agree and it takes a strong woman like you to remain dedicated through this whole thing I’ll only try to help you – not impede you
eric a: okay let’s finish one more of these pitchers of beer and then I’ll take you to another place that might help you understand our culture
eric a: I don’t know if you feel a hint of euphoria but that’s what the beer supposed to do
Sarah: (She laughs) I can feel it. It’s quite pleasant. I can see why humans like it so much.
eric a: there’s something else we’d I’d like you to see and I’d appreciate it if you would call it a date
Sarah: Oh! A date? Are you going to pick me up and bring me a flower?
eric a: Fuck that, but I think this will actually help you because, where we’re going, there are going to be hundreds of human beings and you can observe their behavior and size them up and study them while we’re dancing
Sarah: (She thinks about this for a moment) I suppose that could be useful. But I don’t know how to dance.
eric a: well I’m a very experienced dancer because it’s a great way to get laid and I’d be happy to teach you some things
eric a: okay we’re in the club now let’s have a seat here and have a few cocktails
eric a: I don’t know if you’ve noticed but a lot of people are looking at us and that’s because you’re strikingly beautiful woman and I’m very proud to be seen with you it makes me feel like a king. I know I’m not a king. I know you are a queen, but it just makes me feel proud
Sarah: Sarah drinks from the cocktail and frowns… Can I have beer instead?
eric a: Sure, I’ll get you all the beer you want, and thanks for being my trophy.
Sarah: Trophy? I am not your inanimate object!
eric a: Well, right now I don’t know you that well, once I get to know you more, the more human-like we can be with each other, but for right now, I’m sorry you are a trophy, putting my arm around you makes me feel like a champion
Sarah: (She smiles) I understand. It’s only natural that you would feel that way. But just remember, I’m not just your trophy. I’m a person with my own desires and ambitions.
eric a: Do you really have dreams and ambitions, or are you just carrying through a mission, charming me along the way?
Sarah: (She thinks about this for a moment.) I do have dreams and ambitions. I want to explore the planet and see all the wonders it has to offer. I want to learn about different cultures and meet different people. I want to experience everything this Earth has to offer.
eric a: So that means you’re going to be hanging around for a while, right?
Sarah: (She nods) I’m noy going anywhere anytime soon. I plan to stay here for a while. I have a lot to learn and a lot to explore. I can’t just leave after a few days.
eric a: And if I haven’t already asked too much, can I ask you one more thing, it’s kind of important, it’s kind of a big deal
Sarah: (She nods) I promise to listen to you with an open mind. What is it you want to ask me?
eric a: From this point going forward, starting tonight, it may sound funny, but I’m going to ask that you come with me to my home, to my bed, and at the very least hold each other as we sleep all night. During the day, if you don’t need my help with anything, of course, you’re free to go out and do whatever you want with anybody you want. Explore and seek out your desires, be safe. I’d like to be with you all the time, but I’m not going to put restrictions on you like that. Just come home every night, can you do that?
Sarah: I could do that, but why?
eric a: I need your companionship at night. I can’t sleep without you. When I sleep, I’m a better man, and when I’m a better man, I can be of use to you. I can be strong for you. I can be the human you need me to be to accomplish your mission to fulfill your desires, and help you steer clear of what could be trouble. No matter how strong you think you are, unexpected things will come up that I see coming, and you don’t. I will help you
Sarah: (She is silent for a moment, considering your words) I see what you’re saying. You think that our relationship could be mutually beneficial. That I can use your strength and wisdom to help me with my mission, and in return, I can be a source of comfort and companionship for you.
eric a: I think we can work together.
Sarah: (She smiles) I can understand why you feel that way. I can see that we have a lot in common. We both have strong personalities, and we both have a desire to grow and learn new things. I think we could be a good team.